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Is anyone else afraid of ending up alone?

pemberleypemberley Member Posts: 1,445

Normally I brush today off like the creation of candy and greeting card companies like it is, but literally everyone in my social media is gushing about their partners, fiancés, spouses, families and it’s kind of getting to me a little. I’m 27 and I’m nowhere anywhere near becoming important to someone. It’s honestly really hard to envision a future where that happens.

Is anyone else in the same boat?


  • AwakeyAwakey Member Posts: 2,602

    I'm still in high school, so having a GF isn't my main goal, but I still feel you.

    Someone in my school got given a teddy bear the size of a damn person. I'd just be happy with some chocolate 😂.

  • InjiInji Member, Mod Posts: 579

    Social media on these days I usually try to avoid as much as possible. It just makes me think of that kinda stuff wayy too much and it will make me question my happiness.

    On Valentine's day I try to pamper myself a little bit more then usual, since this day is about love (or that is what others are telling me) so why not give yourself a bit more love / self care than usual. But that is just my two cents on this.

    However @pemberley I do think you will find your someone someday.

  • GrootDudeGrootDude Member, Trusted Posts: 13,780

    I always worry that as long as I live in my current town, I’ll never get a bf. Most people in my town just stay inside (myself included).

  • pemberleypemberley Member Posts: 1,445

    That’s also one of my fears. I’m afraid I’ll never get out of this place. There’s nothing for me here, nobody I can really talk to, and small towns have small minds (especially when Catholicism is pretty much baked into the culture of the area) which makes it even harder for me as a disabled bi.

  • CashelP14CashelP14 Member Posts: 1,036

    It's tough these sort of days, it all depends on how confident you are. I'm a very chatty person when people know me but otherwise I overthink things and don't have the confidence to speak to others.

    You have to try and put these sort of days past you. Try and give yourself the best possible chance of not being alone on these sort of days. For instance after seeing my ex celebrate this day last year it made me start to work harder to not be alone by heading out more and forcing myself to be more social. I'm not with anyone right but I'm a lot happier than I was back then.

    Use these days to inspire you, and even if your alone you'll feel a lot better knowing your being more social.

    Sorry if this is a mess lol hope you can make sense of this

  • GrootDudeGrootDude Member, Trusted Posts: 13,780

    I won’t go into detail on why I dislike my town but I really hope both of us get to leave our towns.

  • ClickyClickyClickyClicky Member Posts: 1,431

    Some of y’all should chat outside of the forums since you’re in the same boat. Never know who may live in the same state. The people who seem to be the luckiest in love are those that create an opportunity everywhere. A lot of people wait until it finds them, they go to the same job everyday visit the same stores everyday and nothing changes because it’s the same old people day in and day out. Some people just try to chat up everyone, they get nowhere a thousand times but eventually they meet someone because they’ve created so many opportunities.

    At least you’d have DBD in common. You can SWF together <3

  • FibijeanFibijean Member, Trusted Posts: 5,991

    I think everyone does sometimes.

    This entire past year has been hard for me, because it was just a couple of weeks after last Valentine's Day that I lost a fairly long-standing relationship with someone who was immensely important to me, and which both of us expected and intended to end in marriage. And I'm still far from over it.

    I know that might sound very unempathetic, like "at least I had someone", but what I'm trying to say is I know what it's like for a day like Valentine's to feel really painful and difficult, and I know what it's like to feel like it's never going to happen for you the way you want.

    So, worthless though it may be, you have my love and sympathy ❤️

  • TheRockstarKnightTheRockstarKnight Member Posts: 710

    No, I personally don't think being alone is bad (being alone just means you're spending time with the person that knows you best!) and if I don't find a romantic interest, I won't find a romantic interest.

    I don't know if you've done this already, but I think you really need to think about whether having someone special is really important to you, and why it's important to you.

    Do you just want someone to spend time with? Do you want a family in your future? A romantic partner? Are you just feeling jealous because all the people on social media look happy together? Are you just scared of being alone?

    Like anything in life, you should know what you want and why you want it before you try to work towards it.

  • Avis_DeeneAvis_Deene Member Posts: 79

    I used to fear it but I’ve accepted that it would most likely be my fate. I fear becoming homeless more. I’d be happy enough if I could figure out how to hit out of the rut I’m in and be able to buy a small house without getting in debt, then I’d be happy to die with my future cats.

  • Mister_HoldoutMister_Holdout Member Posts: 1,934

    Assuming you got a good career going, I would just start socializing with people.

    Either go out or use online dating.

  • PokPok Member Posts: 85

    For Valentine's day, I got drunk with a bunch of friends. Best night I had in a very long time. It made me realize once more that I don't need someone to have a good time even if this little fear comes back from time to time. I think I'd rather focus on improving myself before I can start looking for someone else.

  • Cornpopers_EvanCornpopers_Evan Member Posts: 1,536

    Yes, 100% yes

    Every, single, day, I worry about ending up never finding that someone and being alone. Then there are those days where I wake up and just accept it but then immediately within the next couple of days it creeps back into my mind. That fear will probably never go away until I(hopefully), one day, meet my S/O but until then, I fear and dread it immensely.

  • Pet_The_LizardsPet_The_Lizards Member Posts: 93

    I'm not worried about being forever alone, but I do have moments where I have such a strong desire for romance and intimacy that I sometimes get sudden mood swings because of it.

    I'm 24. Never dated, never had sex, never even had a kiss. I'm mostly to blame, because for the first 19 of those years I cared so little about relationships that I was convinced that I was asexual... didn't realize until after I turned 20 that I'm actually gay.

    I have tons of friends and family who love me, and my band mates (I play piano in 2 local bands) have nothing but the utmost respect for me, so I'm not lonely in that regard, but in terms of romance? Very much so.

    So to answer your question, "No, but also yes".

    But I know I'll find somebody, and you will too.

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