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Does It Matter If Your Nice?

Seriously? I just had a match where two of the survivors were afk straight from the beginning so I took it way easy on the other two survivors. I even took time to eat my granola bar! Well, I guess they took this as they were gods or somethings because of course both waited for me at the exit gate to bm me until I chased them off. It was real classy. So of course that just makes me want to be extra sweaty for the next guys but I don't want to be like that...how do you guys do it? How can you be nice?



  • BenZ0BenZ0 Member Posts: 3,799

    I dont get it anyway why ppl try to be nice as killer

  • TheSubstituteTheSubstitute Member Posts: 563

    Definitely this. While the more experienced can pick up on it, I've been tbagged by survivors on death hook that can't figure out if I slugged them four or five times while they're on death hook instead of walking a few meters to a hook perhaps that could mean I wasn't trying to kill them.

    I will add what also sometimes gets the point across is if you carry the survivor to the hook and then drop them at the base of the hook. The best way to get the intent you're not trying to kill them is to put it up in neon lights.

  • lauraalauraa Member Posts: 2,286

    Because the Killer is a crowd pleaser role. The map is your stage and your play style is your music genre.

    Since we play alone, sometimes we just want to be remembered :(

  • TheSubstituteTheSubstitute Member Posts: 563

    Farming, you appreciate the way they played, they're completely new and got mismatched with you for some reason or maybe your puppy looked at you with big, soulful eyes just as you were about to do a 4 survivor slug. Any reason, really.

    The most practical one is that the longer the survivors are around the more chances you have to get BP. If I get eight hooks and spare all 4 survivors I normally get 30K to a bit over 31.5K as my base points. Throw on BBQ and Chili and I'm looking at over 60K for one match.

  • Hex_LlamaHex_Llama Member Posts: 1,398

    It matters if you're nice, because the community becomes what we make it. So, if you're not putting toxic energy out there, you're helping.

    Is there any reward for being nice? Usually not.

    I have a theory that the people who are rude in this game are actually way too stressed about it, and, when they're in chase, they just become that Mr. Crabs meme where everything's blurry and he's scared. And, in that state, they don't really notice things like, "The killer's going out of their way to break all of the pallets, because they're farming points, not trying to catch me." From their POV, it's just a whirlwind of near-death experiences, which they conclude they must have been awesome to survive. And then they're weirdly mad at you because they have so much adrenaline.

    If you're nice to people who are being calm, often they do notice and they will cooperate with things like farming the rest of a match where two people DC'd, or just finishing the match normally and behaving in a neutral way. But we don't have enough players like that.

  • tippy2k2tippy2k2 Member Posts: 2,988

    As depressing as it is, this is absolutely spot on.

    I've found if I play "badly" and let survivors think they were the ones to outplay me, I'm way more likely to get BM'ed and whatnot. However, if I make it crystal clear that I could have killed you and you are alive because I am the benevolent one here, it's usually a much nicer outcome.

    You can still have people who respect you when you let them think they outplay you and you can still have jerks who BM when you make it clear that you have allowed them to live but at that point, I'm doing because I feel bad for you and not for praise. Praise is nice but I'm just going to roll my eyes at you being dum if you decide to BM my benevolence.

  • C3ToothC3Tooth Member Posts: 4,328

    This is correct, those first day I play Killer, able to double hook, then only slug but not last hook. There were a few that didnt even know that it was me sparing them, but that was only minority.

    There was even a time that I pretended to not reach to hook in time, dropped them, and they tbagged at hatch. But that wasnt enrage me, its just funny for me.

  • cantelopecantelope Applicant Posts: 343

    True kindness is done because you felt it was the right thing to do regardless of the reaction.

    So the real question is why are you choosing to do what your doing. Are you doing it because you believe it's the right thing to do? Are you doing it for external validation? Are you doing it in hopes of exerting influence? Are you doing it out of fear of repercussions?

    I'm being serious and none of those are meant insulting or condescendinly. Whether your decision matters depends on the genuine reason.

    If you're reason is that you believe it's the right thing to do then yes it does and always will. If it's for the others that's more complicated. And will genuinely be on a group by group basis.

  • LaluziLaluzi Member Posts: 3,197
    edited December 2021

    If you do something out of genuine kindness and get spited for it - at some point, whether the fuse is short or very long, bitterness will win out and something will give.

    Whether it was ever a Mother Theresa sort of thing... nah. I don't think much in the world genuinely is. Most people are charitable because it makes them feel good. The bottom line is that I have more fun playing DBD for 8 hooks and letting people go, because I like winning as much as anyone, but I've always been the kind of person that wants to play games with people, not against them, and I feel more rewarded goofing off with survivors at the end than I do from a 4k. Outplaying someone at a loop is fun, but negotiating with a survivor through gestures or standing cloaked in front of a generator while someone confusedly probes at the unreachable surface is hilarious. I want to react to weird stuff as it happens and I want other people to feel like they are having fun with me; I do not want to be a bad teammate and I do not want to be a pincushion or an immovable spiked wall of doom when I'm the opponent. (This applies when I'm playing survivor, too - if I ever have a game where there's one gen left and the killer still has 0 or 1 hooks, I drop everything to run at the killer and let them hook me. If things are still going badly or my teammates are being asshats at the gates, I offer myself as a free kill.) So I define my win condition as the point where I could have killed everyone (8 hooks + 1 more down on everyone, or 5 stacks of Devour) and typically wing it from there, but it's a self-rewarding mindset in the end and always has been. It's just that my way of being self-serving isn't one of the types that detracts from my environment, so nobody really cares if I do it. MMR unfortunately put a wrench in that and I routinely have to kill everyone to keep myself out of the kiddie pool, which does negatively affect players, but that means I can definitively say that I enjoy doing that way less than being nice.

    That said, it's hard to feel like it was worth it when people sneer at me and mistake empathy for stupidity. And that has happened to me a lot. Past the fuse. Again, I want people to have fun with me, not at me or at my expense. In those cases, I just want to go back and rescind the slack I gave them, because they clearly didn't deserve it and I don't want to enable their attitudes - but I can't do that. What I can do is proactively prevent that from happening by making it crystal clear what my intentions are. If they want to BM me, they have to beat me through their own merits, not by me giving them enough rope to hang me with.

    I still play very nicely - survivor rulebook, no camping and tunneling, let people go if I catch them off hook, let teams reset if they fall apart too early, ask to farm after early DCs. (I recently found my cumulative stats and I've got 34 deep wound downs across 2k hours - and that's including my Legion games. Virtually all of my basement parties came from attempting to do the tome 1 challenge.) I play solo and I know how it feels to have an AFK teammate, or a farming Meghead, or have games where it feels like you can't get away or do anything at all, or have stupid teammates feed the killer and you get moried for it. I genuinely want to avoid causing those things because I don't think they're fun. But when I go for the 8-hook, I've found it's more personally satisfying to let people know I'm choosing to be friendly than to hope that they're decent sports, because this community doesn't have a lot of decent sports.

    In the end, I'm happy and everyone's happy, and I think it does genuinely lighten up the environment around these parts, so I can't say anything's wrong with this arrangement even if it does sound rather cutthroat to say "I'm going to BEAT THEM INTO SUBMISSION so they can be my friends." But there's no point in denying that I do it for my own sake as well.

  • HeartboundHeartbound Member Posts: 3,256

    I don't think it matters in the long run. Nobody is going to go 'Hey Heartbound, you were nice that one time in a match x years ago. I've got your back champ.'

    I still like giving hatch and messing around just because. I don't think that'll change.

  • cantelopecantelope Applicant Posts: 343

    The question was is it worth it though. I believe that doing good for goodness sake is always worth it. All the other reasons I listed may or may not be worth it, but kindness because you believe it to be right is always worth it. Just not always easy.

  • TheDarkTyrantTheDarkTyrant Member Posts: 1,654

    Don't be nice. When I play, I just don't care. But remember, not being nice and not caring isn't being mean like some morons think. I've become much happier by just playing the game and not caring what happens. If they afk then whatever. Just kill em.

  • AkumakajiAkumakaji Member Posts: 1,125

    Because we are more altruistic then the survivors. True altruism doesn't get repaid in blood points.

  • SkeletalEliteSkeletalElite Member Posts: 2,008


    ggez baby killer git gud noob

  • PizzasaucePizzasauce Member Posts: 940

    I think I am nice because it makes me feel good. I like the powerful feeling of holding the survivors lives in my hands and choosing who lives and who dies. I try to be nice about it but still.

  • LaluziLaluzi Member Posts: 3,197

    Eh. If you want to get philosophical, I don't believe that acts become unassailable solely through the spirit that they were done in. Usually, yes, and kindness tends to propagate itself. But if I give somebody $50, and they use that money to... I don't know, buy rat poison and slip that in someone's coffee, then that wasn't worth it even if I had the best of intentions and I'm not at fault for what happened. On the less extreme end, if I give someone who turns out to be a toxic player a chill game in DBD, and they use that easy victory to fellate themselves about how brilliant and awesome they are and how hilarious it is to make killers eat #########, that's not a good outcome either, because I'm enabling something I don't approve of, which will then spread further. I'd rather take that than the rat poison, but either situation, I'd rather undo.

    Or maybe that's just a petty justification. Maybe I just don't like it when I give somebody $50 and they say "haha, sucker" and speed off with the money. I do think that both of these things are true, but are they really? I can only prove the one that hinges on what I feel. And is it worth it? I think that's the answer most people will give you about anything they still do, because they've already justified it one way or the other. I typically get what I want out of it and nobody suffers for it, so I think it's worth it.

    Still, we're talking about kills and escapes in a party game here, before we get too deep about this.

    I can say this much; in my subjective opinion of what's objectively right, I think that it's paradoxically better for me to win on my own means and then visibly spare the survivors than it is for the survivors to escape somewhat more organically in a match I play subdued in. It's a better and more meaningful victory for the other players in the latter scenario, but it also tends to leave people without much thought on the match, and it's other matches that will stick with you. If you have a fair game but lose, and then get put back on your feet and spend the next few minutes bartending or playing carnival games or table dancing or headbanging at a fire barrel, and everyone leaves with 25k+ points... some players are going to be toxic no matter what. And some players just want to play the game with no frills, and they won't appreciate that either. But I think for most players, it's refreshing to have some genuine friendliness in this game every once in a while, and that's something that I hope might stick with people who are getting more jaded and frustrated after strings of unenjoyable and perceivably mean-spirited matches in this game.

    Kill them with kindness! ...Oh, wait.

  • PizzasaucePizzasauce Member Posts: 940

    What is a "ggez"? Someone's said that to me before and it confused the hell out of me.

  • LaluziLaluzi Member Posts: 3,197

    "Good game, easy." It's the insulting way of saying GG, pretty much; it's saying you were easy to beat.

  • AkumakajiAkumakaji Member Posts: 1,125

    gg = good/great game

    ez = easy, as in "OMG this game vs you was soooooo easy. Rofl. Lol. Worst killer in the history of killers."

    Peeps who use "ez" are usually pretty sad existences who don't experience joy, unless they mar someone else's gameplay experience.

  • PizzasaucePizzasauce Member Posts: 940

    Ahh...thanks for clearing that up. The person that said it to me said it after I disconnected 2 seconds into a match so I was extra confused haha.

  • dspaceman20dspaceman20 Member Posts: 3,431

    I like to be kind to killers as survivor.

  • cantelopecantelope Applicant Posts: 343

    I mean it much more simpler that that. Nothing to deep, but that's not always a bad thing.

    If you want to give survivor hatch because you just want them to have a good night it's worth it. If they don't appreciate it that's a shame, but that's not on you. If you do it for other reasons? Maybe it will be maybe it won't. That's all I meant honestly.

    Doing something because you just genuinely want someone to smile is worth it, even if you fail. It's not always easy, and won't always be appreciated, but I still think it's good whenever someone tries. That's why being nice is always worth it. That's all. Nothing more or less : )

    Hehe well that's not being nice then. You're doing it for you, not for them.

    You want a stranger you can't truly communicate with to return an emotion that is best demonstrated in body language. It'll always be a little hollow, I don't think it's worth it in your case. Just play how you want as long as you don't cheat or use the seizure macro.

  • StarLostStarLost Member Posts: 5,370

    If 2 people are AFK, just end the game. It takes too long otherwise.

    That said - yup.

    I went through a phase where I was really nice, and was never thanked (and often BMed) for my trouble.

    I've discovered the trick though. Go hard right from the start, and ease up later if you feel like it. Then people will thank you.

    They only appreciate you being nice if you are nasty as hell first.

  • pseudechispseudechis Member Posts: 2,053

    Play thematically.

    As killer its your role to kill the survivors so just do it.

    I actually don't like it when the killer is nice because it kinda flies in the face of the theme. Killers should be threatening, scary, unpredictable and generally a force to be reckoned with.

    If Myers and Laurie just hugged it out and then went for icecream Halloween wouldn't be the iconic slasher film it is today, why people expect the same from DBD boggles my mind but here we are.

    You see post after post of "the killer didn't kill me politely or let me go waaahh!" its nuts.

  • Tr1nityTr1nity Member Posts: 4,855

    It does matter if ur nice, or else Santa won’t give you any gifts!

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