Your Job, Described Badly
As the title suggests. What is your job? What is it that pays your bills and covers your addictions whenever a new DLC comes out?
The catch. You can only describe it badly.
For me, I make a living selling a variety of exotic poisons varying in strength to a wide variety of people every day as part of one of, if not the, biggest suppliers of these poisons Down Under. My job is to ensure that all the poison is on display, helping people find specific ones and inform the ignorant on how to best poison themselves and others.
One of my brothers works for a global mega-corporation, curing people's midnight munchies from behind a sliding window.