Hear ye, Hear ye!
DwarvenTavern
Member Posts: 2,493
So, I've been drinking a delicious rocky road rum smoothie, while I was drinking this heavenly nectar I had myself a headache with pictures, in other words a thought. "I'm gonna play my favorite video game Dead By Daylight, with my happy big boy Nemesis"
That was my goal.... until the unspeakable happened.
I que up for a match, about a thousand seconds later I get into a match with a swf team. But, they're not the problem. Oh the problem hasn't even started.
After we finished loading into the game, I get flashbang by the color of orange and hate.
No...
That's right. We weren't in Kansas anymore, but instead we were at...
CALDWELL!
DEAR GOD NOT THE CORN!!!
Oh it was a nightmare, rows apun rows of the dreaded corn in the scorching Texan heat of this map caused my ps4 to start to cooldown with the power of a wind turbine.
There was no winning.
But thankfully, I got destroyed in a mere painful twenty minutes. (Actual time, I like to record my matches. Shut up)
I held back a tear.
"Okay. Maybe the next match will be better"
Oh hahahahaha... you stupid idiot.
I load into my next match and yet again... the dreaded orange and red.... why? Why Caldwell..?
No... no...
Next match.. Caldwell...
NO
I go to sleep, Caldwell!
I brush my teeth, what's that? They turn into Caldwell?!
I take a shower, somehow I got lost and ended up in Caldwell, naked and afraid style.
I go to Caldwell and it's ######### CALDWELL
ARUGH
PLEASE BHVR, I CAN'T STAND THE CORN DIMENSION ANYMORE
WHY IS THERE SO MUCH CORN?!
I'M DWARVENTAVERN, NOT ######### CORNELIUS MAXIMILIAN THE THIRD
A long time ago someone made a post asking killer mains if they have any maps they quit against.
I said no.
WELL YOLKS ON ME!
FUCKING CALDWE-
Edit: Yes, it's Coldwind. But until this map stops being stupid and annoying, I will refuse to say it properly.
Comments
You mean Coldwind? But yeah, the corn is my sworn enemy in DbD.
I agree. Coldwind is awful now.
I should say the real name
Hell.
Hell is only a name. The reality is much, much worse.
Upvote to whomever knows where that's from (no searching, obviously).
Ugh. You're making me use my brain... I know I heard that. It's stupid familiar, it's on the tip of my tongue
In honor of this fallen soldier I hereby announce Cold wind be renamed to Caldwell may their poor soul be released and not stuck in the corn field.
For real tho this map sucks for survivor too I get turned around so easily and often end up running into killers because it's so thick.
Coldwind is one of my favorite maps.
Constantine? I have no idea but it seems like something he would say.
Nope.
I love these, lmao
Is that you, Captain Miller? From whatever laurence fishburne movie it was?
Sounds like a Sam Neil line from Event Horizon
Right movie, wrong character.
Correct.
“Where we’re going we won’t need our eyes”
The quote is "Where we're going, we won't need eyes to see."
However, we shouldn't take this thread off-topic.
The coldwind maps are total dog #########