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any good way to deal with anger and frustation caused by this game?

Sometimes i get stomped, bm'd, etc or i just feel really bad, and honestly the other side making fun of me and constalty harassing me doesnt help me at all, this game has brought MY WORST SIDE, im simply not myself when i play this game, and i dont really enjoy playing any other game really, so switching games is not an option, i need a way to quickly cool down and not be overwhelmed by anger and frustation.

Most of this anger and frustation turns out into disconnecting, i've been penalized up to 7 days, which dont get me wrong, was okay for me and was all my fault, i just waited there 7 DAYS without playing anything else, the dc penalty is okay, however it doesnt discourage people who are angry from doing it...i just keep doing it everyday, because im so angry and frustated i need to vent in some way or another.

I wish there was a way for people like me, who get frustated and angry VERY easily to properly vent and keep playing without, well you know, disconnecting in such rage.

one option i though about was some sort of time-out, where you can, after some time decide if you want to keep playing, or leave, if you're a killer, you grant the survivors a a pip and max bloodpoints so they dont complain that you left , also progress toward challenges would be saved, meanwhile as survivor you could give your team a compesation advantage, of everyone agrees to end the game, bloodpoints and pips.

my whole point is that I NEED some method to stop disconnecting in the heat of my rage, or another way to vent without having to wait an eternity, i cant just go afk because i will eventually go back and see the other side harassing, making fun of and even insulting me, there must be a better way than just letting the other side farm bloodpoints from you, while you sit there waiting like 10 more minutes, it just TAKES TOO LONG!

this was basically a little rant, please take it with a grain of salt.



  • VolczVolcz Member Posts: 735

    Go have a toke and then revisit.

  • PepsidotPepsidot Member Posts: 1,524

    The main advice to give is to not take the game so seriously. This game can be unfair no matter which role you play, so don't just expect to win even if you make no mistakes. But be glad if you do. Take a 5-10 minute or so break after a stressful game so your anger doesn't boil over into the next game. Change things up and play a few survivor games.

    Personally when I used to play a lot of killer I got quite caught up in this game's us vs them mentality and it made games less and less enjoyable. I didn't usually DC but game's became quite stressful since I would want to "win" and beat those cocky survivors. However I took a step back and realized this game really isn't worth the stress and now 95% of the time I just play survivor. It's A LOT less stressful. You don't have to think constantly, you have downtime to chill on gens and even have time for a little bit of goofing around if you're lucky.

  • YankusYankus Member Posts: 624

    If survivors are stomping you then just afk at a gate and wait for the next game. It happens to all killers at some point. There are a lot of survivors who play just to bully the killer and it's sad.

  • AneurysmAneurysm Member Posts: 5,229

    I was kinda the same when I started, was new to PvP games so was a rough intro (yes I've heard about modern warfare lobbies etc etc)

    I don't really have much specific advice, what worked for me like others have said is taking the game less seriously, obviously how to actually get to that point is the more difficult topic.

    With killer specifically it was running stupid builds, or no perks, or even deliberately sabotaging myself before the match started, or a combination of these - I mean like old bubba no perks speed limiter with a haddonfield offering. Losing is fine because it's obviously expected. Winning is an ego boost, angry survivors stacked out with meta perks is plain hilarious.

    With survivor I usually got less tilted but with both sides the other thing that helped is when you run into someone who's an actual dick, like who's playing in a specific way that's obviously just supposed to piss you off and has no tactical value, just to be nice to them. Obnoxiously nice. Not sarcasm because that's still them getting what they want. If someone lets me bleed out or facecamps me hitting me on hook the entire time I tell them gg :) , if someone tells me I'm bad I'll say something along the lines of "lol true" and wish them luck in their next match. It annoys them much more than firing back insults does I promise.

  • If you are disconnecting that much then the game must be provoking a very strong emotional response at times.

    my advice would be… mindfulness I think idk. But basically come to terms with what makes you so angry about what can happen in this game and what it means for you when it happens. Because truthfully this game is basically a competitive online horror movie sandbox. Those people exist in the world. This game is just another form of online communication.

    And also don’t take this game so seriously. It is not a fair game, and it never will be, it’s asymmetrical, that’s the point of it. Take a breather in game you need to, take those few seconds if you need to. I’m assuming you play this game to have fun right? So letting it be a source of anger and misery completely defeats the point of playing.

  • yobudddyobuddd Member Posts: 2,177

    You need to take a match and use it to just reset you frame of mind. Don’t worry about pips or points. Just have fun. Bring a meme build! For example:

    Grab Nemmy and equip Mad Grit, Agitation, Iron Grip, and Infectious Fright. Now load in, down someone, and go on a face-smashing punching spree!

    That’s it! There is no “win” or “lose”. Don’t bother using your power - carrying a survivor IS your power!

    • It’s hilarious for all players involved
    • It’s deeply satisfying to be at the helm of the fists of fury
  • HaunterofShadowsHaunterofShadows Member Posts: 3,551

    Chug half a bottle of water

  • ApollosApollos Member Posts: 1,052

    Play a horror game that isn't stressful. When I'm in the mood and I'm sick of DBD, I'll play a little L4D2 or raid mode in RE Revelations 2.

  • VoriisVoriis Member Posts: 131

    Take a break a long break and play other stuff. I am usually a quite chill and docile person but this game Sea of Thieves turned me into a rage filled a-hole. So I took a year long break from bn it and played other stuff. Now I am able to go back and play without getting mad.

    Maybe you just need to play other games to remind you gaming is a recreation and fun activity.

  • RescultirRescultir Member Posts: 184
    edited September 2021

    I feel your pain though, I have been playing this game on and off since 2017 and I only have 1600 hours in the game (which is around 2 months of playtime) which just made it easier not to care about this game, for me. I do enjoy throwing hatchets at people though, that's a fun thing to do when you're mad just stand out in the open and they'll let you do it

    Post edited by Rizzo on
  • SloppyVoldemortSloppyVoldemort Member Posts: 452

    I'm sorry you feel this way when playing the game.

    I don't think you want to hear this, but maybe this game is not exactly for you then. If you got a 7 day matchmaking ban because of anger, that's not healthy.

    Other advise, if you really want to continue with the game, is to stop when you feel your anger rise. Just go afk for the rest of the round to avoid the penalty and then just quit for the day,

  • KurriKurri Member Posts: 1,599

    Change what you consider a win. Killer or Survivor if you black pip, or pip then consider that a win. If you have fun in that match then consider that a win regardless of the outcome. Create new game goals, like save as many survivors from being hook as possible with sabotaging, or win the game as killer by slugging and design a build around that. Close chat, or change your responses to chat. Taunt toxic players, and get fun out of pissing them off more. If you feel like you lost laugh with the other players, don't let them laugh at you.

    If you take this game seriously you're going to have a bad time. If you focus on the sweaty players trying to make the by definition unbalanced game into a competitive game, you're going to have a bad time.

  • cpt_hellmancpt_hellman Member Posts: 72

    I know you said switching games isn't really an option, but I used to be kinda adicted to this game for bit until played Phasmaphobia and a couple of single player games. the best I can recommend for this is just force yourself to play something else.

    most people you'll play against are random (same for any game really). anything someone say's to you isn't personal. they will just try to say random ######### to under your skin. once you start to notice how hollow and empty their comments are the easier it will be to shrug it off.

    everything in this game is RNG, your opponents, your team mates, maps, pallet distribution, hook distribution, strong window loops, the server performance, your hits connecting. sometimes more often than not the game just won't be in your favor and you'll lose more than half of your match's. above everything else this game is not serious it is at it's best a Horror themed Party Game.

    This also has no real win/lose state it's really more about personal victory's like finishing a ritual/archive, maxing out on bp, getting a meme build to work, preforming better than your last match, or even getting that one kill that all the other survivors tried so desperately from letting you have but you got it any way and you deserved it.

  • R2kR2k Member Posts: 1,069

    I'm very calm person but even i get angry sometimes and u know i figured out that i can't get mad if i start thinking. Like thinking counters anger. Also when u understand things happening are only temporary, there's nothing to be mad about cause it's like * Either i can do something about it or just let it go if not* For me it's just not worth focusing on something i don't like.

    I hope it helps u in some way.

  • AdvorsusAdvorsus Member Posts: 1,018

    Do as the devs say, go play something else lol. I did the last time I got tired of this game and didn't come back to it for over a year.

  • AnneBonnyAnneBonny Member Posts: 1,974
    edited September 2021

    Taking breaks can help quite a bit. It's also good to just find a different game to go to when you feel that way, something calming maybe. I've found Stardew Valley really helps take my mind off of particularly nasty matches.

  • Kira4EvrKira4Evr Member Posts: 2,025
    edited September 2021

    I just meme around. It's really fun and keeps me from getting frustrated. Unless it's a Deathslinger. As soon as I hear either his Terror Radius or him shooting, I lose my ######### lmao

  • EmealEmeal Member Posts: 1,776

    I realized I'm too old to get mad about Videogames. I'm not trying to condescend at you here. Like think about it, We have so little time on this Earth. Why spend your leisure time being livid? It makes no sense. Also being calm helps you play better.

  • TunnelVisionTunnelVision Member Posts: 1,372

    Yes, play survivor. Then you too can become the power role :)

  • ZakkusyZakkusy Member Posts: 14

    It was already mentioned sorta, but different goals make a whole world's of difference. I get frustrated alot throughout the years in the game, but everytime I notice it starting to affect my judgement or my actions in-game, I take a step back and switch to a different goal.

    I reflect on what made me so frustrated (it's usually an unrealistic goal I had set for myself, often without noticing) and switch to a really easy goal. Recently, I've had a goal with Killer where I go for either 4 BBQ stacks or 1 dead Survivor. And it honestly feels like a switch flipped in my head and made my playstyle change. I always play with whatever perks I feel like, so forcing a 3-4k goal, even if unintentionally, makes me feel so bad. Easier goals doesn't mean you're belittleing your ability to perform in the game. It's to make you feel more relaxed.

    When you're relaxed, you tend to play better and usually outperform your very simple and easy goal.

    And what if you don't even reach that goal? There's the next game waiting somewhere in the future. It isn't the end of the world. This game has a way of sometimes making sure you lose through a combination of player input and RNG, but realizing that makes dealing with losing easier. You can always make even sillier or easier goals for yourself. Again, easier goals don't mean you don't improve in the game, you seriously do.

    As a side bonus, when you're relaxed or have obtained your goal early on in a match, you notice those players harrassing you don't really matter anymore. It's a nice feeling!

  • AnneBonnyAnneBonny Member Posts: 1,974

    I can't speak for OP, but from personal experience it mostly just comes from having a source of entertainment feel tainted by something out of your control.

  • Freddy96Freddy96 Member Posts: 734

    You switch off your pc and you either go to the gym, meet a friend/gf, watch some netflix or yt, go out for a walk etc.

    This game's not worth your frustration

  • Hex_LlamaHex_Llama Member Posts: 1,484

    I think part of the problem might be that you're waiting until your feelings have fully ramped up into rage before you decide to write the match off and stop playing. At that point, going AFK or walking to the other side of the map to avoid the survivors doesn't feel like enough because you're so angry.

    My advice, which is going to sound counter-intuitive, is to walk away before you feel like you want to go berserk. Try to learn what your tipping point is by experimenting with walking away at earlier points -- e.g., as soon as you feel annoyed, or after you've been annoyed for the past full minute, etc -- to see if that allows you to calm down or if you just keep getting angry. If you just keep getting angry even after you've walked away from the survivors, you probably waited too long, so try earlier next time.

    Once you learn where the safe zone is where you can still walk away and hold your temper, do that. Keep walking away before you hit the tipping point where you spiral into rage. You already have the right idea by trying to remove yourself from the situation by DCing -- this technique is just about removing yourself from the situation without getting penalized or continuing to ramp up once you've walked away. If you succeed in doing this for a while, it might also give you more confidence about your ability to manage how you're interacting with the game, and you may feel more resilient and less like your emotions are getting jerked around by what other people do.

    I get mad about this game, too. Good luck.

  • scorpioscorpio Member Posts: 327
    edited September 2021

    You need to try other games. I get what you mean by not enjoying other games because DBD can be genuinely addictive, but if you give yourself time away from it and try other games, you will gradually stop wanting to play DBD and begin enjoying other games. Try some single player experiences, there are so many incredible story driven games out there right now.

    Red Dead Redemption 2, Horizon Zero Dawn, Ghost of Tsushima, God of War, GTA5, Persona 5 Royal (and Strikers), Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Zelda Breath of the Wild, Dark Souls, Demons’s Souls, Sekiro, Nioh 1 & 2, Spider-Man, The Witcher 3, Assassin’s Creed Odyssey, Monster Hunter World, Borderlands 3, Pokemon, Cyberpunk 2077, etc. etc. etc. the list goes on and on. Try them, try others.

    They are much less frustrating than multiplayer games but still fun and satisfying. The longer you go without playing DBD, the less of a hold it will have on you and the more you can enjoy other games. I often take months and months away from this game because it is so frustrating and I truly recommend you do the same.

    I’m not saying never play DBD again but if you find you’re frustrated more often than you’re having fun, step back for awhile. Like I said I do this all the time and the game feels a lot more fun when I come back to it after months away. I don’t have the same built up anger or resentment over unfair things anymore because it’s been 6 months or whatever. If it starts annoying me again, I take another break, maybe a month or two, etc. And I’ve enjoyed so many amazing games in the meantime.

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