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There Needs to be More Pyramid Head Players

God I just get so excited when I see Father Triangle, when I hear his music, when I see his massive blade dragging behind him. It's all I can do to restrain myself from walking up and booping him, it's almost as if for a fleeting moment before he's allowing me to stroke his sculpted chest. Then the sword comes down and tells me to run or else he'll hurt me.

Getting chased by him is such a delight, he wants to punish me so badly. I want him to, obviously, but I won't make it easy. With every wiff, every miss, I get more and more excited because he's getting so much closer to taking me down. Then the next thing I know I'm on the floor, face painted with equal parts awe and ecstasy. Sometimes he hesitates, which annoys me. A strong man like that earned his kill. It's like, don't look around for flash light savers this isn't a ménage à trois. This dance only has room for two, me and you.

Sometimes he'll ignore me, walk away, decide I'm not worth his trouble. That's the worst, knowing I upset Daddy Pyramid. Occasionally I'll have to boost his spirits, let him smack me around a few times. He loves that. I know how to get him going, obviously. I'm his biggest fan!

Long story short. We need more Pyramid Heads. I'm addicted to that flutter in my heart when I see him. I don't care if I live or die, I just want to spend more time with him. Won't you help us be together?

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